*cat trying to get out of the showerOK, I had to follow up the email post(below) with a commentary on our shower. Most things here are awesome...but this shower is outragelous (outrageous and ridiculous at the same time).
First, it is a handheld unit. However, hands in the shower are convenient for things like washing and scrubbing, so this requires that the unit point in a certain direction without moving. Our shower will not do this. The head moves randomly (or devilishly, depending on who you ask), and thus sprays water all over the bathroom. Ash has been sprayed in the face while fully clothed, and Dave has narrowly avoided the same fate (I am fast like cheetah).
Next, should you get the shower positioning correct, you have to contend with the temperature of the water. I think we were well prepared for bad showers after our European vacation (cold showers @ hostels most of the time), but this takes it to another level. The shower is not cold. It is not hot. It is not mildly warm or cool. It is simply a random assortment of temperatures somewhere between scalding and freezing. It is as if someone has this thing rigged to a laptop and is hitting a button to send the water from hot to cold at inopportune moments. This person likely has rigged the shower with a video camera, and is selling our videos to China's Funniest Home Videos as we speak...
During any normal shower, there is at least one temperature swing severe enough to cause an involuntary scream to pass through your voice box. I'm sure our neighbors love hearing this!
Finally, the icing on the cake. The bottom of the shower is, as I would describe it, "The Floor of Death." This floor was specifically designed to endanger the lives of anyone stupid enough to enter the shower. If you are bold enough to step on the curved sides (only the middle 3-4" is flat), you will certainly slip and likely hurt yourself. It nearly killed Ashley the other day, who shifted suddenly when the water became freezing, only to slip and pop out of the shower on the floor. Luckily I was standing at the sink to watch the whole thing! It was like a hippo popping out of the dense rain forest, stumbling, and squealing on the ground. Except cuter.
OK, that was the random thought of the day...enjoy your warm showers in the USA!!
*A reinactment of Ashley's shower fall, approximately
3 comments:
LOL that was the all time best post.
I can't believe ashley let you take a picture of her showering/bathing like that!
btw, i AM that man who changes the temperature of your shower with my laptop. All macs can do that though. And the iPhone even has an app for it. Check it out.
Dave, Dave, it's a good thing Ash has such a sense of humor. First she's your "fat-ass pregnant wife" and now she's a hippo??
So sorry for the crazy showers - I got a good laugh out of it- but only b/c I can relate: JB and I's first summer in China there was only hot water for like 10 minutes a day. I pretty much screamed through the cold showers or didn't shower at all; it was lovely.
i can't stop laughing
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