Clint Eastwood was a real man...Here's a list of things I have in my apartment. Keep in mind I would have none of these things if Ash's mom did not buy them for me...
Unopened items--
Peanut Butter
Jelly
Bread
Opened items--
Pasta, sauce (key meal, only thing I've cooked in China)
Slim Fast, milk (85% of my meals)
Granola Bars
OJ
I swear, I have been here for two weeks and that sums up all non-restaurant options for me. I've lost 7 pounds already, luckily I had plenty of extra LBs from Europe this summer.
If I were not married, I would certainly be malnurished and up for adoption.
Perhaps we can get some crowd participation here...what should a man do when he realizes he is totally incapable of living without someone else? If something ever happened to Ashley, she tells me I'd have to get remarried within two weeks or move back in with my parents. How true this is.
I wonder what cowboys ate back in the good old days when they rode around on horses, shot people, and took women when they pleased? I'm thinking beef jerky, beer, and cashews (sometimes you feel like a nut).
I thought this would be a great chance for me to live alone and learn how to survive...turns out it only shows me how pathetic my life-skills are.
It's a good thing that looking good and saying funny things can get you pretty far in life.
3 comments:
I blame Ashley for allowing yourself to become so dependent. It's really too bad. So, to answer your question, you do what any man would do: Sack it up! Yeah, that's right. And what better place to feel like Clint Eastwood than China!
You're taller than them and have people sitting in line for you.
It was like the USA in the Ryder Cup last weekend. Cocky and knowing they are awesome. Just keep flexing and life will come easy.
Now, to solve your food problems, I have the solution. Buy the following:
1 lb of boneless, skinless chicken
1 red onion
1 cup of broth
2 diced tomatoes
pinch of saffron
dash of caraway
1 bay leaf
Put all of these on the counter in your kitchen and stare at them while you dial a local pizza joint and get a big pie. Or, get Chinese food. I swear, it takes me 10 minutes to read through the menu options of my local Chinese food place. There are 5 withing walking distance of our house, so there must be one close to you. You've got enough options to fill you up through 2009!
I had comment on maximum awesomeness achieved in this blog post. Great work. As for cooking recommendations, I had pasta with sausage and microwavable rice for four months while living abroad so I don't have a leg to stand on. Kept the weight on nicely though.
Ramen noodles anyone? BTW, I really do feel bad for your pathetic life. Oh, and it IS a good thing you're handsome and funny!
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