Due to recent violent outbreaks in Eastern Europe that may or may not be related to the sweet EuroHawk I have been sporting, I have decided that it is in the best interest of our European friends that I change hairstyles. As you can see in the pic above, I am now sporting a CroHawk.
The CroHawk was modeled to show my devotion and love for the nation of Croatians. The rugged semi-hawk represents the miles of untouched coastline and rocky shores. The non-hawk portion of my hair remains uncultured like the customer service one will receive in this sometimes unfriendly land. Finally, stray hairs poke out from the sides to remind us all that the rocky mountains of Croatia are something that will never be tamed.
We hope this new hairstyle will bring peace to Eastern Europe again, and that it will show our love and sorrow for those who have been hurt by our good looks and great hair.
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The people of Europe will no doubt be crushed to see the EuroHawk go, but the CroHawk is a worthy replacement, and it is already making waves further abroad.
It has already had an impact in bringing peace to the country of Australia, as the Pope arrives here in Sydney for World Youth Day in the next few days, and he has dropped hints that he may formally bless the new CroHawk hairstyle and encourage the 225,000 pilgrims to adopt it.
In preparation for this potential papal blessing, I will create t-shirts with a picture of Dave's CroHawk and the tag line: "G'day mate - Hearts and hawks for Christ." All proceeds (which will be quite significant) to go towards the massive amount of hair gel required for Dave's yet-to-be-released Asian TigerHawk, which will be sported on the Haase's future adventure with the Fenton's.
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